Benjamin was alone
by motharelovemothsarelife
Summary: Benjamin was alone now. Sarah had left him, so had Anna, he couldn't get home to his father, any AIs he met just disappeared. He didn't even know where he was or what was happening. Benjamin was terrified.


Benjamin was lost. After his small, purple companion and last sense of guidance had mysteriously disappeared he'd panicked and just run in whatever direction he was already in.

Now, this wouldn't have been a problem had the jet-pack still worked. He could've flown all the way home again! His father must be really worried right now.

/

He started to suspect he wasn't even going in the right direction. He came from left and he was going right, probably. Not that it mattered anymore though, he was pretty sure he'd fallen down somewhere he couldn't jump up to again.

Again, had the stupid jet-pack worked he could've just flown up again, no problem! Unfortunately though, in his panic and crashing into walls from lack of predicament he'd broken it. Benjamin tried to think of an alias. Whenever he'd get home he'd have to have an excuse as to what happened!

/

While it was nice not having to be alone, part of Benjamin was kind of bothered by the other AIs presence. Sure, he could finish the levels more easily and much faster now, but he was still untrusting of their instructions and was sometimes scarred of jumping somewhere. It was embarrassing.

He hoped they wouldn't stay for too long, which they probably weren't, he was being somewhat needy...

He'd suspected that's why Sarah left.

/

He'd heard a short-lived scream from the AI, and the next thing he knew, they were gone! This wasn't exactly what he'd meant to happen. He wanted to be alone, but not if the the other AI had... well, disappeared in such a terrifying manner! He wasn't really sure what had happened to it.

Benjamin began getting kind of scarred.

/

It wasn't as nice being alone as he had remembered it. It was, well, lonely. The AI had been really nice to him, he sort of missed it. It had disappeared in the same manner Sarah had, a faint scream and then poof, gone. There had to be some connection, he thought.

The sudden disappearance and scream of fear from his short-lived companion hadn't exactly helped either. What had happened to them? Why did they scream? Whatever it was, it couldn't be good...

/

Another thing that was definitely strange was all the weird noises he'd heard. They were quiet, very quiet, but audible. It was a sort of... rumbling, whispering noise. It had begun to creep Benjamin out a bit.

It was probably nothing though, they do say you get better hearing when you lose your vision after all.

/

He understood now. It had all made sense, the weird noises, the disappearance of the other AIs. It was the pixelated clouds' doings, the ones Anna had told him about! She did say they were guarding the fountain, they must've been released when Benjamin had entered! He felt a little stupid now, not having guessed earlier.

/

Benjamin began feeling guilty. Very guilty! He'd blinded himself, broken the jet-pack his father had worked so long and hard on, probably worried his father to death by now too, released the clouds and probably gotten thousands of AIs eaten! He didn't even know what happened to them! Did they die? He hoped not.

He just wondered why it hadn't eaten him yet. If it was still there, which it probably was since the sounds were still present, it'd had a million chances to eat him by now. Maybe it was out of respect, Benjamin thought, after all, he was the one who'd freed them, even if he wasn't exactly proud of it...

/

* * *

/

Benjamin was... relieved. Scared, but a little relieved. Huh. He was alive. The sounds had begun coming closer and it'd gotten really cold. He'd only guess the pixel cloud had finally eaten him. He felt like he was even in a level still, with spikes and moving things.

This was good. If he had been eaten, and all his friends had too, this meant they were all alive! Maybe he'd even get to see them again! Or, be with them, at least, but maybe see, who knew.

/

He'd got confused, he'd run everywhere, jumped everywhere, and he hadn't found a single portal. He hadn't even found a button, only some spikes and maybe some water. This was weird. If there was no portal around there was usually a little button to press somewhere that would eventually make it appear.  
Benjamin began getting scared. Why couldn't he get out? He'd always had problems with levels since the incident with the fountain, but this was ridiculous! Benjamin was scared he would never get out. What if he'd be stuck in that level forever? Just sitting around in the same level for all eternity doing nothing!

... Okay, maybe not that different, when you thought about it. But still. Knowing he might never get out was not a comforting feeling. He was still happy he was alive, and that all his friends were too then, probably. Benjamin wondered if they also couldn't get out, wherever they were, or if his levels in particular had gotten increasingly harder really fast, or if he was just really bad at this. Or both. Probably both.  
Thinking about it made Benjamin kind of homesick. More-so than before. How long had he been in there even? It felt like an eternity. He wanted to go home already, just go home and apologize to everyone and everything. He'd really messed it up this time. At least he wasn't an indirect murderer, that's always something...

Finally! He found a little switch on the other side of some spike pool he thought he couldn't even cross, he'd come across some of those. He'd hoped he could fly over one just to see what's on the other side when the jet-pack was done. Maybe when he got home it wouldn't be too much of a bother for his father to make a new? Breaking it had been an accident, after all. Maybe he'd forgive him?

Maybe.

/

He was out! The little turquoise square had almost shouted a little from his accomplishment. Maybe now he could look for his friends! Hopefully he wouldn't get stuck in another level again.

This time he wouldn't sit and rest out of anger and, well, being tired of trying! Benjamin swore he'd find all, or at least one, of his friends before anything else! He mostly hoped he'd find Sarah, not to favorite, but to be fair, he'd known her a lot longer that he'd known any of the other AIs, they'd disappeared after 5 levels or so, he and Sarah, they had history together!  
Rather short history, but history none the less. He felt like he could take on anything! Miscalculating a jump wasn't a big deal! Nothing would stop him!

/

* * *

/

The old man told him about the 'shifters' and the architects who'd sacrificed their lives for the sake of their fellow quadrilaterals. Benjamin liked the story. It was sweet. And the fact that it was because of the pixel clouds he'd released made him feel a lot better about it all.

... That is, until he got to the part after the inverted guy. He'd mentioned a Sarah. It could been any Sarah, Benjamin thought. Benjamin tried to tell himself it was just a coincidence. It'd been ages, there'd probably generated some other Sarah who was small and purple and could jump in the air and somehow knew about the fountain. Yeah, that would do.

He was a little envious of that 'Thomas' guy too, who'd been in the fountain and come out perfectly fine, if not better. How was that fair!? Benjamin got blindness and death clouds and guilt and loneliness, and he got vision and knowledge!? WHAT THE HELL!? Benjamin decided he didn't like Thomas. Sure, he seemed like a great guy, it was his plan to sacrifice himself for the sake of the others after all, but still. It might just have been the jealousy, or the slight worry his friend was dead for good thanks to him, but he just didn't like him.

/

The worry had begun taking a great effect on Benjamin. He'd almost even cried at times. And then he'd had to assure the old guy it was nothing. He didn't feel like telling him about Sarah.

Now that he was pretty sure Sarah might not even be alive anymore Benjamin began to prioritize finding the other AIs he'd gotten eaten, or maybe trying to get home. He really missed his father by now. He'd gotten used to being stuck where he was, he'd been there for what felt like an eternity, an embarrassing amount being in that room he could barely get out of, but still, he wanted to go home more than anything.

/

He didn't even care that he'd helped free several thousands of AIs anymore, he just felt bad about getting 7 of them killed, one being a dear friend of his. If it wasn't some other Sarah, of course, which he desperately tried to convince himself.

He didn't want to be with a stranger, he wanted to be with his father or Sarah, hell, even Anna at this point! Just someone he was close to and knew would just maybe understand!

Well, he and Anna wasn't exactly close, rather the complete opposite. He'd forgiven her for doubting him, since she was kind of right in it... But at least she'd understand, hopefully, and she wasn't a complete stranger! Besides, he wanted to apologize for it all.

/

What if someone else was dead? At this point he wouldn't even be surprised, he'd had some pretty obvious bad luck since the moment he laid his eyes on the fountain. Apparently were trapped where they were since they'd gotten eaten. So, what, he couldn't get home? He'd never see his father again?

Bad luck.

/

It felt stupid of a man his age to cry over never getting to be with people he hadn't seen in god knows how many cycles. Especially in front of a stranger who didn't have a clue what he was crying about. The worst part was in his crying he couldn't even tell him what it was without sounding like an idiot. So he just sat there, crying embarrassingly while some old guy tried to find out why. It was silly and dumb.

It was terrible, he must've seemed like a freak to him. This is why he didn't want to be with a stranger. He didn't like talking about the events at the fountain or anything afterwards for that matter either. That's why he wanted to be with Sarah or Anna, they knew or could at least figure out what had happened without him telling them!

He had to get away from him after this.

/

It WAS stupid of a man his age to cry over never getting to be with people he hadn't seen in several cycles! Very stupid! Benjamin decided he should just give up. He'd never get home. He'd never find any of his friends. He should just settle somewhere. Settle in some level and never leave. He'd thought about that before. If he got to know the level maybe it wouldn't be so bad moving around in it.

Benjamin wasn't really even sure what he wanted anymore. He wouldn't want to be with Anna, she'd probably just tease him for having been right. He hadn't told any of the AIs he'd met after the fountain about it, and his father obviously didn't know. And Sarah was dead! Just flat out dead!  
He didn't really want to see his father anyways, after so much time he'd worried his father tremendously and probably forced him to go through grief of his own child or something, he'd broken his jet-pack, and he'd have a blind son to deal with. He'd just make his life worse than he'd already made it.

/

Benjamin was just confused. He was sad and tired and just exhausted, for whatever dumb reason. He'd acted like a child, he was angry at something stupid and wanted something but wasn't even sure of what.

He never really grew up it seemed. He was stuck from when he first entered the fountain. He still grieved the loss of some people he shouldn't even remember anymore! He'd barely gotten over the blindness even! And he'd been living with it for quite a while now!

Benjamin was disappointed with himself.

/

Benjamin had encountered some of those 'shifters' by now. He could've sworn he could hear something from them. It was sort of whispers, different whispers. He couldn't make out any words from them, but maybe it was the architects' voices, maybe they were still alive, somehow? He liked that thought. It was a comforting thought.

Thinking about the architects and the shifters was pretty comforting in general. They'd managed to make something fantastic out of a terrible situation. Benjamin hoped he could maybe do the same some day.

/

Benjamin knew he couldn't stay in the same level forever, he'd already failed pretty badly. He remembered when he was trapped in that level without any exit. It just wouldn't work, he was born to know the world, not trap himself in a single room!

The lack of eyesight obviously restrained that purpose quite a bit, but he'd worked around it! Benjamin knew this is what he was destined for! He wouldn't let some silly blindness or guilt or grief stop him!

He was going to get out. He swore he would flee this cage the clouds had led him to. Maybe even take some other AIs with him, if he'd pass any on his way! Unnecessary sadness was to be put aside!

/

Benjamin thought. If the shifters could help thousands of AIs escape the simulation over all, surely they could help them get out of wherever they were after the pixel clouds ate them! So maybe he could get home then after all?

He could only hope.


End file.
